


things we lost to the flames

by xxpaynoxx



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: F/M, and i ran off with it, and this is angsty as hell, i found a hc of bellamy being rly emotional, i think u can guess who dies, there's minty if you squint, when someone close to him dies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-17
Updated: 2015-08-17
Packaged: 2018-04-15 07:22:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,269
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4597941
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xxpaynoxx/pseuds/xxpaynoxx
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Anonymous asked: Angst prompt: bellamy got inside the drop ship instead of clarke. Clarke isn't quite as lucky as Bellamy is in canon and meets her end in the drop ship fire. The shit goes down and when Bellamy climbs out, Clarke is either dead or dying. Let loose, my friend.</p>
            </blockquote>





	things we lost to the flames

When Bellamy closed the dropship door, he’d fully expected to see Clarke inside.

But as he was looking around, examining every face, he realized she wasn’t.

“Did Clarke make it?” he asked, racing up to Miller, who was busy checking on Monty’s graze from a bullet on the battlefield. He looked up and shrugged. “Last time I saw her, she was tackling some Grounder three feet taller than her,” he said solemnly, and Bellamy felt a chill run down his spine.

“Oh, God, I killed her,” he whispered, covering his face in his hands and sinking down next to Monty. He felt the boy’s small hand on his shoulder and a shaky “it’s Clarke, I’m sure she’s fine”, but deep down, Bellamy felt his heart slowly breaking into a thousand pieces.

He closed the door on Clarke. He set the engines off without checking that she was inside. He didn’t even think to make sure she was okay during the battle.  _Just another name to add to the list,_  he thought as he tried not to cry.

Suddenly, the door creaked open, and slammed into the ground with a puff of dirt.

Everyone was silent for a moment, watching the smoke rise from the clearing and staring in shock at their ruined home. Bellamy was the first to move, with adrenaline flushing through his system as he began searching for survivors.

Every single body was burned beyond recognition, much like the bodies from the Exodus ship wreckage that Clarke, Finn, Raven and he had gone to look at not even three days ago. Bellamy didn’t see Clarke’s body anywhere, and he prayed that Miller was right and she’d run away before the engines fired.

Bellamy held onto that scrap of hope as he made his way around the clearing.

When he’d reached the gate without a sign of Clarke, he rested a hand shakily on the metal door, rubbing his other across his face. He felt Miller come up near him, and the gate creaked open. Bellamy looked over at Miller in surprise, and was met with a hardened gaze.

“I’m not letting you go alone into the woods without a gun,” he said, handing him a gun. Bellamy grasped the handle, feeling the familiar weight as he looked it up and down. He looked back up at Miller, who had his arms folded, and gestured out into the forest.

“Let’s go find her.”

**_~x~_ **

The two looked for Clarke for a long time, with no sign.

Bellamy had inspected every place that Clarke could have gone, desperate to find her. When the sun had set and the moon was on the rise, Miller had grabbed Bellamy’s arm and looked him in the eye.

“She’s  _not_  here, Bellamy.”

The boy shook his arm out of Miller’s vicelike grip and scowled, looking around the forest. “No, she  _had_  to have escaped,” he began, but Miller cut him off.

“Oh, really? And how would  _you_  know? None of those bodies were recognizable. How would we know that Clarke was one of them?” he argued, and Bellamy turned on Miller, grasping the front of his shirt with his fists and pulling him so close that their noses touched.

“How do we know that she  _wasn’t_?” he snarled.

Miller gulped, and Bellamy released him. He stumbled back a few steps, straightening his shirt and then looking at Bellamy, watching his shoulders fall and his head droop. Miller had never seen Bellamy look so helpless, and it frightened him.

Bellamy was supposed to  _lead_  them. How could he lead them looking like that?

A groan from the bushes caught both of their attention, and they stared at each other like deer in headlights. As another significantly softer groan followed the first, Bellamy turned to face the line of holly bushes behind him, where the sound seemed to be coming from. 

He knelt down and moved away the branches, eyes scanning frantically for a sign of life. Underneath, there was a mass of blonde hair, and as a muffled “help” echoed through the woods, Bellamy thought he was going to start crying with relief.

“ _Clarke_ ,” he began, but her name died in his throat as he looked harder.

There was blood pooled around her body, and her skin was burned everywhere he looked. She was faintly breathing, but each one ended in a cough as Bellamy dragged her out from under the bushes. “Miller, go get help,” he ordered, but Miller was frozen, staring at the burns on Clarke’s arms. Bellamy snapped his fingers in front of Miller’s face, and the boy jerked out of his stupor, nodding and sprinting off into the woods.

Bellamy returned his gaze to Clarke’s face, which was reddened and peeling. She coughed, and blood dribbled down her chin as her eyes cracked open. “B-Bellamy?” she croaked, and Bellamy nodded furiously, trying to to cry as he felt tears prick his eyes.

“Yeah, it’s me, I’m here,” he whispered, and deep down, as Clarke smiled at him, he had a feeling that no medicine in the world was going to save her.

“I’m sorry,” he choked, and she furrowed her eyebrows together into a deep frown. “About what?” she asked, innocently, and Bellamy rolled his eyes. “About closing the door on you,” he answered shakily, and she smiled. 

“ _Don’t_  blame yourself, Bellamy. It had to be done,” she whispered, and reached up to cup his cheek in her burnt hand. He interlocked her hand with his own, and they stayed like that for a few moments before Clarke spoke up again.

“I expected to die a lot better than this. Mainly in a castle, or some really nice place instead of in the middle of a forest on a radiation-infested planet,” she remarked, and Bellamy let out a short, humorless laugh.

“Once a princess, always a princess,” he whispered, meeting her eyes as they fluttered, her breathing growing shallow.

“I’m just happy I can die with you.”

Bellamy’s hands began to shake, and he shook his head, finally being unable to hold his tears back. “Shut up, you’re not dying,” he said, but Clarke’s eyes had closed. “Be the leader I couldn’t be, Bell,” she whispered, and her hand went limp in his hold as she breathed her last.

Bellamy rolled his eyes. “Shut up, you were a great leader,” he said, and his eyes went wide as Clarke didn’t respond. He looked down at Clarke’s face, and realized with a pang in his heart that she wasn’t breathing anymore.

“No,” he breathed, frantically searching for life in her face, feeling a wave of white-hot panic flair in his body. “No, no, no!” he yelled, his voice rising in volume and cracking at the end as he began to cry, holding Clarke’s body close to his chest and burying his face in her muddy, bloody hair.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m  _sorry_ ,” he sobbed repeatedly, as if apologizing would bring her back. He squeezed his eyes shut as he felt tears flow down his cheeks, and he shook with grief as he rocked Clarke’s body slowly back and forth in his arms.

And that was how Miller and Monty found him, unmoving and sitting up with Clarke’s body held tightly to his chest and staring into the dark trees. He didn’t look over as Monty and Miller approached him, nor did he flinch as Monty placed his hand on his shoulder.

“I killed her,” he whispered, his voice hoarse from crying, and Monty knew that there was nothing he could do to would heal the wounds that Bellamy now had.

**Author's Note:**

> well if you're not crying now you'd better be ~~because i am haha ~~~~~~  
> find me on[tumblr](http://lunarbellamy.tumblr.com)!


End file.
